the nut awakens

2006-06-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

2006-03-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

.the painting crew. (Izz capub! haha)

The artist is at work again ;D

2006-03-10T21:05:00.000-08:00

Haha..it's time for mural! (again) My club decided to paint a mural at Taman Sinar Harapan, a place we usually go for our external CAS. A lil different this time round. As we're only doing the mural indoors. So I need not worry about getting my skin all burnt. =p haha. Anyways, we have Pn Hindon and Pn Sarina accompanying us. And it just impresses me how a perfectionist Pn Hindon is. I mean, sum perfectionists are not easy to deal with, however, she is just sumthing else. She has a way of communicating with people, which makes them just shut up and follow her instructions. Admirable really. She told us something about her daughter painting her own room, and making artsy designs using only a sponge. Hmm, nice. Very nice. Anyways, we managed to finish one part of the wall. and have lots more to go. And TV3 and their personalities are supposed to make an appearance that afternoon. Unfortunately , we're only able to stay for a short while since we have an assembly at 11.30 am. Wut luck.

sports..the way to externalize!

2006-03-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

I've currently developed a strong liking towards sports and games. Now, now dun get me wrong..I'm not entering olahraga or anything like that. Just stress-relieving sports like silat tho I always end up having backaches after practice due to the intensive kicks, rolls, and jumps. But you really get to externalize ur depression and worries. I used to hate going to practices, and admittedly, that isn't advisable in silat. Actually it's not advisable for anything we do. Spirits and interest is important in any situation, if not, we end up gaining nothing. Back to silat, we've now learnt a lot of kick-ass steps..so, haha, better not mess around with me now dat I've have the skills. *winks* One thing to be criticized tho. The coach seem to focus more on the good ones(the ones who have early foundation) rather than us, newbies. And that kinda sucked. However, we must not forget that this is the process of learning and most importantly, it is a stress-relieving activity...so, shoo bad thoughts..shoo!

I've also tried lawn bowl for the first time. Damn cool! I mean..it's a relaxing sport too..and surprisingly I did good eventhough it was my first time. The coach practically request me of switching clubs. I'm torn. haha. So I decided to go for both. I do have Suze and Ili to thank for actually encouraging me to see lawn bowl in a new light. ;D Happy bowling!

2006-02-28T16:44:00.000-08:00

Haven't been updating for quite some time now. And admittedly, a LOT of things happen..events, heartbreaks..funny at this point I can't really think of anything happy. Lol. Anyways, here I am once again, trying to pour my heart out for all to listen (erm, read) ; ) Well..I dunno how to start really... I think someone has reaped benefits from me once again. =P Bleah! It's so heart-breaking to see what the world has become of. I guess only a few of us truly understand the meaning of sincerity these days...and we call ourselves muslims. *shakes head* I may be overreacting, but I am truly hurt. I am aware that the world today is all about the survival of the fittest, but it doesn't mean that you can make others fall and trip, while you're on your way up there. Why not climb together, for God's sake? Honestly, the more you help others, the more benefits the Almighty will give you in return. I know I'm no big expert to speak about all these, but I've witnessed countless living examples, and I wish to make a change. Hmm..thank God there are a few people who are willing to fix my situation now, and hopefully it will be fixed fast. But all these situations always remind me of something. Lol. I was like this eversince standard one. Yup, always the innocent, honest one...and the one who gets cheated and tricked all the time. Come to think of it, I am sometimes pathetically blur. The problem with me is that I trust people too easily, doing everything for the person while I get nothing but tears and heartbreak in the end. Hazel..hazel...and guess what, I'm still like that. Oh God I need to change. Anyways, back to the story. I was in Sri Murni Junior back in Standard 1, and I was new to the school..I was quite close to a few of my classmates, and at the end of the year, one of them, R wanted to trade dolls with me. Happily I agreed. To prove how dumb I was back then, I actually bought two new dolls for her and gave it to her willingly, while she gave me an old one. And to make the situation look even worse, I was actually happy bout the trade. And of course, later I got a nice scolding from my mum. Huhu. What a story to share huh? Haha. The moral here is, do think rationally...and don't trust people easily. I know it's easy for you readers, but somehow in my case, it's the most difficult thing to improve on. I'm the kind who's really dedicated in everything I do,especially when it comes to helping my friends. *Sighs* However, even after all these, I still believe in the beauty of sincerity and I'm still gonna maintain that, tho I have to be a little more careful next time.

Cooking victory

2006-02-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

nasi arab victory~! \(^^)/

cooking victory update

2006-02-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

We won! 2nd place is good enough for me..after the tormenting 2 hours of cooking. Yes, tormenting. Imagine having to use the old-fashioned massive stove on the floor(on the floor!!!) while the other groups get to use the normal new stoves on the table. Urgh. It was horrendous. And you know how I was trained..chop! chop! chop! I have to always be on the go and like, let's just say that everyone else is not like that. Haha, I practically looked like a distressed maniac. And in addition to that, the oil from the chicken gravy didn't exactly come out even after being the last to clean up, which was five minutes before serving time(the other groups have finished their decorations by then). Bloody unstrategic. Well, the gravy would have tasted better if the oil comes out, as it indicates that the juice from the tomatoes and potatoes have seeped completely into the chicken. Lol. whut am i babbling about? =D The rice wasn't as exquisite as always..because someone stole one of our rice cookers, and we were out of tomatoes. I actually had to use mine. Bleah! Anyways..it was a great experience..haha..didn't exactly turn out to be a disaster after all.

2006-02-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

Just like Bridget Jones quoted, 'One minute you're closer to someone more than anyone else in the world, next minute, you're never gonna see them again." Well, things like that happen a lot to me lately. And every time that happens, it feels like my heart is shattered into a million pieces. But, thanks to my wonderful friends who was always there to pull me back up again. It is times like these that you could distinguish between your true friends and those who seem to be very loyal at times when you're happy. A lot of proverbs have been made about friendship, most of which convey the similar message; the meaning of true friends. I never really understood this, as I've never been in such a situation that makes you fall flat on the floor, waiting for someone to pick you up again. Besides that, maybe I'm the type of person who would do anything for my friends. Yes, anything. It's all about sincerity really. And since that's my ultimate principle in life, I never expected my friends to turn their backs on me, what more the close ones. Now that that's happened, there's nothing I can do really. The impact of this whole fiasco is like a slap of awakening. You may shun me for reminiscing these dull and hurtful moments, but believe me, I have my reasons. Hmm. There are friends that would be there to praise you till you reach cloud 9, and there are those who hang around acting cool, and talk to you occasionally and sometimes giving you criticisms and sarcasm (in other words, a bad time), and of course, there are the loyal ones who are both of those kinds, and would stick with you through thick and thin; your roommates for example (well, mine at least.) I do believe that there's a need for establishing a good relationship with someone whenever you're in a new place, you know, find some place to externalize. Anyways, back to the types of friends, yea, you have those who are there to praise you like hell, and would go all cuddly with you and asks you to smile and show your dimples more. You'd never thought that these are the kind of people who won’t bother to even text you when you're down and crying like mad, when you've done everything you could to help him whenever he calls for it. Cruel isn't it? From someone who is sincere in everything she does, it does hurt a whole lot. Instead, you have those who act cool as a cucumber 24/7 (the ones with sarcasm) are the ones who would call you instantly, checking if you're ok or not, and calm you in their own special ways. Surprising really but that is exactly the realities of life. Thus, be careful. Hmm, to people who are jovial all the time, none of these would matter anyway. But to individuals who can face a change of emotions in a blink of an eye, these are sensitive people, like me, well, just be careful not to get hurt. I'm over all these already, I've grown a bit stony lately, reason? Well, sometimes the cruelties of life makes you change. Stony as I may be, I'm still a teardrop away. I'm the same old me, the person who is very inclined in helping people because I believe in sincerity and that it cleanses your soul. And that certainly won't change.

" Follow thou the inspiration sent unto thee and be patient and constant, till God do decide: for He is the best to decide " 109; Surah Yunus.

God works in mysterious ways.

2006-02-09T20:42:00.000-08:00

There comes a point in life that you ask yourself what you did that was so bad and wrong that made you deserve all the cruel hardship in the world. Well, I asked that to myself a lot lately. I know you may think that it is such a waste of time, and I should just move on. But that's exactly my weakness. I have difficulty of letting things go. Pathetic as it may sound, but that's just how this humble leo is. My mom once said that I should learn to let things go, and great things would happen. I never did believe this until it happened to me right in front of my own eyes. I was thrilled to get the offer to go to the petronas educamp based on my trials, and like I wanted it so bad I did everything that I can to be outstanding while I was there. And eventually, the interviewers were really impressed saying I have a bright future and that the country needs individuals like me. Any normal human being would think that we’ve made the cut, right? Well, it turned out that I didn't get the offer, for both overseas and UTP. I suppose you can imagine how painful it was for me at the time. And well, I just lost faith, I wanted the scholarship so bad, I appealed again and again. Until my mom actually said I was going against what’s meant for me, and that I should just let go, or in malay we call it 'redha'. It took me a while for me to get to that stage, that 'moksha' stage. I mean, really, you're depressed and shit, and suddenly you're expected to sing hakuna matata? =p Lol. Anyway, I eventually manage to forget the trauma, a lot of opportunities came my way. I didn't expect I actually made top 4 in SC's list and that I got MARA, after the grueling torture by the interviewers. Well, yeah, after quite a reflection, I began to understand this art of communicating with the Almighty. He knows what's best for you. And I eventually got to understand how He grants his servant's prayers and wishes.

1. He says yes and He grants them instantly
2. He says later, and He'll grant you something better.
3. He says wait, and He'll have the best of things stored for you.

I have just the amazing feeling after writing that. A bit more calm. Anyways, back to the story, yea, I wonder why I'm unable to stick to that belief now when I used to be so amazed by it, and became such a positive person after that. Now I just have to keep trying, though I really feel like I'm dying inside. I don't know what to think anymore, I mean at the age of 18, I've experienced just about everything a 30-year-old would've experienced. I know this is His test to make me stronger, to show that He hasn't forgotten about me, but I really really need the strength and at this point, I am just out of it. God help me. Maybe I should pray harder, because I’m a person who is easily deterred by the cruelty in life, and whenever that happens, I go weak and lose faith bit by bit. You usually hear talks about how people tend to forget their roots after they’re successful, but I'm the other way round. I lose faith when things go bad, and I'm ever-enthusiastic and positive when I receive the delish fruits in life. Yes, I should have faith again. Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me. Think positive, Hazel. God says wait, and He'll have the best of things stored for me later.

2006-01-30T21:36:00.000-08:00

Cooked my very first nasi arab today. By very first, i meant the WHOLE set of dishes by myself *looking smug* haha..Yup, yup. But of course, the whole process started with the continuous shrieks and screams from my mum, telling me to be alert and making the kitchen look like a battlefield. (Yea, it's TOTALLY normal here=p) then i was left to do everything by myself. I started with the rice, then the chicken, which was the most complicated out of all the process. Cooking the chicken gravy was like cooking 'rendang'! God knows how much my arms ached after that. After an hour of endless stirring, I made the spicy beef gravy (rempah daging, in other words =p) which was quite an easy task if u know how to play with the curry powder and the choose the right kinda beef. = ) And the grand finale is the veggie acar, a very nice treat that blends well with the mediterranean concept. Voila! I did a fantastic job if I do say so myself. Yea, sure I got a few ear-smacking scolding at the beginning, but I gotta admit, sumtyms the military-style of teaching and learning may be very rewarding in the end, tho it is such a pain in the ass, and ears in the beginning = )

study group

2006-01-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

I forgot to add one consolation I got in my last entry. I got top 10 for my previous first semester exam. I’m ecstatic. =D Well, today was a bit of a bore. Getting lectured about management and groupwork for two whole days doesn’t really suit the word ‘fun’, does it? Anyways, we were introduced to PBL (Problem-based learning) and we were given this problem and we were supposed to do a presentation later on (the usual, really) But really, it was just my day, my group had to present. Grr. The presentation was fine tho. But I have something to say about studygroups. Well, they don’t really work on me. I can teach, or listen to someone…like a one-on-one thing, but I just can’t study in a group. I know it’s prolly a good method to use now that there’s TONS to memorize about, but really I just can’t do it. The college has been stressing on this method a lot recently, and I just feel guilty about not meeting my studymates up as frequent as the other groups have. On top of that, I’m the head of the group. I feel so guilty but I just don’t suit the method. Waa… help me!

mad

2006-01-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

First day of school and I hate it already. Well actually it happened last night. I got a call from the student council president telling me to be the MC of the assembly today. Well you may think that it’s just a simple matter, but honestly, getting a call at 11 pm as I was about to sleep is no candy cane and hot cocoa =p On top of that, he actually had the nerve to shout at me because I refuse to accept the appointment. He was saying that the other “dedicated” MPPs have jobs of their own (which is OBVIOUSLY NOT true as I clearly saw each and everyone of them sitting comfortably while watching me fumbling with the microphone and wires). Wimps!!!!!!!! Ok..ok..*breaths in and out* Really, I should enter some kind of anger management course =p Actually it’s no big deal, but here, I would like to list down a few reasons why I’m so pissed.

1. I only knew about the appointment nearing midnight, which is utterly annoying, because noone knows about the sequence of speeches for the assembly. (which is sooo NOT responsible of the person who’s calling *double =p*)
2. He was shouting on the phone, and making rude remarks which is CLEARLY not an approachable manner.
3. He was just trying to wriggle out of his work, saying that it has already been decided, when it was only decided 5 minutes ago.
4. I was having post-pms pains, which results in unpredictable moodswings, like that of now. =p

Turns out that all was well this morning, but I had another problem. My pms-pain was killing me, though I thank God that one of my teachers actually offered me a seat, and that wasn’t the worst just yet. An hour later, I’ve got leakage on my baju kurung and seat. Urgh. Horrible, horrible day. =p

results.

2006-01-08T17:34:00.000-08:00

I didn't fill you in about my results did I? Ok. Well. *takes a deep breath* My first semester results finally came in. And I got 35/42. I know. It's way bad. But really, the highest in this so-called pioneer-IB-batch-of-KMS is 37. To be honest with you bloggers, I am thankful beyond words. I mean, despite the lack of continuous hardwork (yes, I do procrastinate a lot), and despite of the pain-ass-and-neck problem that has finally ended AFTER the exam week AND wasn't much help during the exam week,which instead brought out the demented part of me (well, I'm learning to lead a new life.huhu. that sounds so cheesy=p), I actually scored 35. I feel like giving myself a hug. Thank you God. Well, I'm not exactly that thrilled, but I guess it is ok to score that much since the others didnt do quite well. I was a bit shattered when I found out that I didnt ace bio. Biology papers were always mine to conquer. (I think you get whut I mean) Thank God for the slammin' Business Studies marks tho. Man, I sure love biz. Truthfully, I'm the kind of person who only gets spirited when I score and am apparently good in that certain something. Only then will I have the urge to maintain that standard and status. And that's why it's really important for me to make sure that I don't fall at a tremendous height, like what happened to chem which I was really good in but is deprived of the abilitiy to score because I don't really suit my teacher's pace, cuz really, from that moment on, it will take a LOT for me to go back on top again. I guess that's a no-can-do for next sem. I need to do something,well..I'm still thinking about it. When the semester starts, we'll see ; )

mural

2006-01-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

Spent the whole week doing CAS. I must say that for such a short holiday, I actually managed to accomplish something different for a change, besides of being the all-in-one 'bibik'. To those who doesn't really understand what I meant by CAS, it stands for creativity, action, service. Yup. The social work thingy I was talking about. Anyways,I got to do something really fun for a change, not that the ones before weren't fun, but well, this time it's something a bit different. I get to do a mural! yay! I mean, I've never done one before. But I was estatic. I joined Lutfi's troop, who consist 7 peeps and already have a headstart in terms of getting CAS hours doing 'fun' CAS (refering to spending half a day just getting lunch and driving) hahaha. I just found out bout that the first day and believe me, I was overjoyed instantly. But the mural thing did take a lot of work. But we enjoyed it, eventhough we got a bit tired as the days go on...I had fun tho, and the price is, I got my skin a bit burnt. And the hols is ending already. Wa! Ok, good thoughts, good thoughts(yes, I haven't forgotten my resolutions yet =p) I always had a passion for arts. I guess this is the result of being presented with numerous artblocks and watercolours of all sorts when I was 4. Yup yup. As my lil bro gets music lessons, I get a bit of talent in art. We are really different indeed.

2006

2006-01-01T06:13:00.000-08:00

It's this time of the year again. The time to make our new year's resolutions..hopefully one which would last for a year, and not a day. Right. *Coughs* I haven't really had the time to compose 'em in beautiful words, in such a way that it could actually be framed and hang on the wall..So, lemme just jot down whut I have in mind. =)

1. Be more organized. Get folders and actually USE them (not wrap them so lovely that makes me feel guilty of using em. Yup, this is me) to store my notes, which keeps missing everytime I need them.

2. Focus on improving my image and appearance. Well, it's my mum's idea. (She said the rationale is to improve my self-esteem, so, I guess I'm gonna give it a shot. Better believe it, 2005 has thrown my self-esteem down the drains of Raub)

3. Be more of an optimist. This is somehow a lil related to no.2.

4. Get my driving license. Omg, I feel like I'm borned in 1988. Plus, the stores selling cars in front of my house is driving me crazy. Any car you want is there, Hyundai, Kia, Merc..urgh..I sooo need to hug the steering.

5. To love and be there for everyone that has always been there for me..family, friends, anyone.

There...hmm, seems reachable *smiles to herself* =) Dum dum dum dum...

alterations

2005-12-31T23:30:00.000-08:00

Allow me to do some alterations to this song..lol..i just have the urge to do so. *wink wink*

I feel fantastic, bombastic, estatically astounded,
How a man can really lose his brains.
I feel surrounded, confounded, emotionally dumbfounded
To think you've nearly won your game.

great

2005-12-31T10:24:00.000-08:00

My mom just told me that I can take my driving license soon. Yay! *jumps around like a psychotic bunny* Haha...man, finally! I'm so excited. This is prolly no biggie to most peeps since almost EVERYONE in my college has license =p But anyways, I'm thrilled. Owh, I saw a great movie a few days ago..You see, I have this thing when it comes to true stories(sad ones particularly)...I tend to be very touched and emotional and well, expectedly, tears would come out. Well, anyway, it's called 'Philadelphia'. It portrays a court case whereby Denzel was trying to defend his client, Tom Hanks who was having AIDS..he's also a brilliant young lawyer who was fired because he was having AIDS. But the truth is,his bosses at the law firm has this discrimination against homosexuals. Denzel won, but it ended up that Hanks died. Sad really. But man, was the court case good. It somehow reminds me of how I used to debate about 'Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve'..lol, surprisingly we lost =p but really, there shouldn't be any discrimination against adams and steves.

nasty

2005-12-29T01:52:00.000-08:00

I had to cook beef curry today. I was sooo not in the mood for cooking. Plus, I dun really like to cook curry. Other dishes, I'm ok. Sambal, western, anything but curry. Well, part of it was prolly because I didn't get the proper lesson for cooking curry. And well, I have to admit,I was a lil rusty. And let's just say the result's not up to my mom's standard. She suddenly became furious. Wa. It's soooo not fair. She said my mind wasn't there when I was cooking. But I totally put my full attention to it all morning. It's just not fair. And well, I just kept quiet. That's the thing when you're sent to boarding school. Well, maybe not to everyone, but to me, it became an issue. I find it difficult to express myself to them. So, I resorted to just be quiet. And this time the problem was as simple as not-up-to-the-standard-curry. It's pressure I'm telling you. Even when it's curry. Furthermore, my mom's famous for her curry. Adds the pressure even more. Well, I just have to take it positively. Phew.

pop.

2005-12-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

Went to RMC's passing-out parade(Or as Ayap calls it, POP) today. It was fun, really. I mean he looked fabulous. I've always thought army guys were cute. haha, with the march and the green suit. lol. Love it. I was so glad to have Ami with me. I mean, we had fun snapping pictures and pushing through the crowd, despite not being 'puteras' or family of 'puteras'. =p But yea, I had fun. I met Irv's mum for the first time. I was really scared at first but since she was there, I just felt it was way wrong if I didnt come up and say hi. And so I did. Wow, I'm surprised myself. It turns out to be a very warm conversation. Only God knows how nervous I was. I was praying so ever hard that she won't slap me or sumthing. But she is a darling mother, and I'm sure she wouldn't come close to that. Michelle and Wayne were so cute btw. Then there was Irv. We had a great conversation eventho there was still pain. But I keep telling myself I was a strong person, and I have to keep doing that. =) Anyway, had some icecream and starbucks later.haha. I'm still living.

wow.

2005-12-27T09:57:00.000-08:00

shopping.yay!

2005-12-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

I had the most incredible day today. In fact, I'm feeling a lil worn-out now. I know I spent a lot in hk, but I seriously needed more of it =p haha. I got the book I've wanted for so long. turns out that there's a smaller version of it, which is like half the price I first saw.(The big book i mean). Umm, met Wani for lunch. It feels so good to talk it out to someone in person. I mean, on the phone's ok..but it feels way better when you get to talk to someone face-to-face. I really needed it. Thanks, Wani. Then I shopped some more. It's true. You really have to pamper yourself in these kinda situations. It feels a whole lot better after that. I have to thank Ayap, who came all the way from Sg Besi, for the talk too. You have no idea how grateful I am. Well, it ended up that I had to go to a wedding after the spree. Well, I know i'll prolly get cricized for this, but I dun really like weddings. I mean, I dun have much to do. The food's ok though. And my mom was telling bout some wedding details she has planned for me. Like wow, I'm totally not ready for that. One thing cool tho, I managed to get her to agree that I don't have to bersanding n have the pelamin and all. ; ) yay.

disneyland

2005-12-23T23:20:00.000-08:00

A lovely photo.A lovely family.

hurt

2005-12-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

It's times like these that we really know who our friends are and who are not. It really hurts to see someone u've known so much suddenly change into someone you really hate. I just dun know whut to say. It has always been my principle to stand up for my friends and put them first in my list (after family that is). But sometimes maybe I was just being too nice. It hurts a lot. I can't even write. But you know what, I'm gonna stick to my principles. I'm still going to be the Hazel that would do anything for a friend. Because everything I do is sincere and I love them to bits. And I hope they could see that.

back

2005-12-23T03:15:00.000-08:00

Well, i'm back. Actually it has been days. But i dunno, i'm simply not myself. I feel lazy to do everything, even my fave pastimes. cooking, blogging, reading, downloading. Everything goes down the drain. God, help me. Hmm. Hong Kong wasn't that bad after u bought a whole load of stuff. It's not surprising that my money, too, was left in the streets of Mong Kok. Actually, I didnt buy much at first, but with continuous persuasion from my mom, i was only left with 12 dollars. *goes blur* Hmm. However, admittedly, the stuff i bought are satisfying. Only that I didn't lie bout the first few days being boring. It totally was. I mean, yea, I wasn't allowed to wander alone. So, I had to stay in the hotel, and to prove my extreme boredom, I read the same novel TWICE (I regretted I only brought one there =/) We ended up going to the same cozy place for lunch and dinner. The Shadowman's cafe. It's pretty cool actually...they serve asian cuisine and they even have net facilities for the customers.(20 minutes free is quite an offer;)) Sometimes it seems so interesting to have ur own restaurant. I mean, really. I dunno why i have this sudden urge to learn culinary arts =p. Well, it's a thought though. Hmm...speaking of cooking, my mom plans to enrol me in cooking class with one of the chefs she knows. Appparently he's an expert in sauces and western cuisine. And from what I heard we're gonna start with italian. Golly. Well, it's nothing much really...but I think this will be quite an adventure. And hopefully, it could take my mind off 'whirlwind 05'.Yup, u guessed it, I haven't gotten over it yet. Wish me luck tho. =)

BORED

2005-12-17T12:38:00.000-08:00

IT'S 12.38 PM...WAITING FOR BRUNCH..IT'S BEEN LIKE THAT EVERYDAY SINCE WE GOT HERE. THE HORROR I TELL YA.I MEAN NO OFFENSE ON MY PARENTS. THEY'RE REALLY VERY LOVELY..BUT HEYS, BEING STUCK WITH 3 GUYS(INCLUDING MY BRO) IS SIMPLY MIND-CHALLENGING. EVERYDAY IT'S LIKE WE GO OUT AT 12 AND GOT BACK TO THE ROOM AT 3. LIKE 3 HOURS???? MAN.. AND I HAD TO SPEND THE REMAINING HOURS OF THE DAY WATCHING FOOTBALL. I JUST WANTED TO SCREAM. SPEAKING OF SCREAMING, I'VE ALREADY BEEN GROWING MORE WHITE HAIRS RECENTLY. I DUNNO WHUT'S HAPPENING TO ME. HONESTLY, I'M HAVING A HUGE CRISIS.CHEERS FROM HONGKONG=P

(THE ONLY THING NICE WAS HONGKONG DISNEYLAND, I FEEL LIKE SNEAKING AND STAYING CINDERELLA'S CASTLE FOR LIFE=P)

updates.

2005-12-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

Hmm.My flight to hong kong is in a few hours. I think I can spare some time jotting a few updates about my life. Haven't been blogging for quite a while anyway. It's not like there's many peeps reading my blog anyway, but i feel a bit guilty for not updating it. So, to make it up, I'll just jot some updates about myself and what has been happening to my life these days.Well, around mid june, I transferred from matrix penang to mara college seremban. And believe me, it's no stairway to heaven.=p Life has been hectic eversince I got there. It's the first time they're doing IB there. Scholars who are sent to do IB before going abroad are usually sent to mara banting. So, umm, I think u can imagine the chaos of actually handling this so-called pioneer batch. Well, as an introduction, Mara College Seremban is the oldest MRSM ever built. This explains how ancient the academic block is.(They have this tower-like building, so we have to go on the spinning staircase to get to class) No offense, but the teachers there too, are ancient. MCS used to be a place for the matrix and alevel programs..but I just dun get why the system there is so strict. I can't believe I still have to go to prep there. I mean, 5 years of hostel torture is enough for me, thank you..and like this??! and I still have another 1 and a half years to go. God, spare me. One thing about IB tho, we get to do social work. Sumthing really difficult to do when ur at home due to other obligations *rolls eyes*. I was sent to the disabled children centre.And it was just the most wonderful feeling..getting to know the kids. They're indeed unfortunate..and I can't believe how their parents had the nerve to abandon them..but well, whut can i say. This is the realistic world. You can see so much sadness in their eyes, eager for love..kinda makes me feel very grateful to still have a family. Admittedly, the first time I went I was so touched that I cried. After a while, I got used to it and I really enjoy spending time with them, it just takes all the stress away(except when they get restless, umm, no comment there) As it is the end of sem 1, I dun think i'll be able to go there anymore. I may be sent to the old folk's home this time. I'm honestly gonna miss 'em..a golden experience. I hope more people could actually see how special these individuals are and welcome them in our society. This may sound cheesy, but it's honestly from the heart.

hmm.

2005-12-12T01:54:00.000-08:00

Here i am. The same old hazel. A whole new blog. and most prolly a whole new world. 2005 has been a breeze...can't believe it's ending already. Certainly a whole interphase process. (If u learn bio and are currently stuck with the thick campbell book as ur companion, u'll prolly understand what i'm saying) The interphase defeats all the other processes in mitosis, what with the dna replication and all(oh, i forgot, i managed to accomplish something great in class, i managed to actually see the chromosomes. It's prolly no biggie to all u scientists out there. but like, they're so cute!! n since i was the only one who managed to get it under the microscope after countless attempts, it's a helluva accomplishment) Anyways, back to the story, my life is a whole interphase process. And forgive me, I couldn't think of any other metaphor. I've just been through something which has taken a huge part of me..and it wasnt easy, it actually took me three days for me to get back on my feet. Thank you friends, who have been beside me through it all. You dunno how much I appreciate ur time, company and support. For 17 months, I actually learnt how to love someone, and that because you love someone that bad, you'd do anything for that person. Admittedly, i did threw tantrums while i'm at it, but i think i'm ok now. Hmm, i wasn't difficult to handle when i was a toddler, haha, so i guess that explains y the tantrums thing suddenly turn up now. Some timing huh? lol. Well, eventhough it ends up in the way that I don't desire, but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world. It was a whole exciting experience, combining a whole rush of emotions; happiness, sadness, laughter, madness. Certainly, they're gold. I've been through a lot since childhood, so I should be able to overcome this. I'm trying. and everything that has happened(surprisingly a LOT has happened to girl my age), it made me stronger. Thank you God for giving me strength so that i'm not afraid of the future. I'm sure He has a lot installed for me in the future, I just wish it comes with inspiration and strength. It would then certainly be a great happy meal. June 13th. The memories i will always treasure and keep. To be honest, I'm not sure if I can find that part of me back, but in all circumstances, i feel glad that i managed to share that part of me with someone. It was worth it. = )Onwards, hazel.